


The Joy Is in the Details

by rudigersmooch



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bottom Garak, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Light Pining, M/M, Made-Up Medical Jargon, Mpreg, Pregnant Sex, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:23:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16573037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudigersmooch/pseuds/rudigersmooch
Summary: Garak asks for Julian’s help concerning a very serious, and unexpected, medical condition.





	The Joy Is in the Details

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarkSideofMH (MissHammer)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHammer/gifts).



> Thanks for the fun prompts, MissHammer! XD I hope you had a great exchange, and that you enjoy the mpreg (well, the fic itself. But mostly the mpreg!)

The worst part of it was that Garak had warned him, in his own way.

 _I may not be able to meet you when you arrive,_ Garak had said in his hail, the first communication he'd sent since two weeks prior when Julian had told him that he was coming to Cardassia Prime as part of the scheduled Starfleet delegation. _I have a somewhat urgent appointment, and missing it would be...unfortunate._

He’d said it with a customary smile, like he expected Julian to laugh or play along, and so Julian had laughed before commenting that he made it sound like a matter of life or death. Garak hadn't agreed with or denied the remark, hadn't made even a token effort to lie or craft an elaborate explanation—it should've been the first sign that something was wrong, but Julian had been too preoccupied with planning to really notice the slip. By the time of that message, it had been nearly six months since he'd seen Garak in person, since the end of the Dominion War, and Julian wanted a chance to congratulate him for all he'd accomplished almost as much as he just wanted to see his friend alive and healthy again. With the sort of enthusiasm that had exhausted many friends and partners in his life, Julian planned all sorts of things for the upcoming trip—things he wanted to see, places he wanted to go, people he wanted to meet—and thoughts of his ambitious itinerary carried him through all the tedious formalities of meeting Cardassia's Minister Khall, the young woman who would be acting in Garak's stead whenever he was "unavailable" in the upcoming months.

It wasn't until Julian saw Garak roughly two hours later at their planned lunch meeting that he realized Khall had been subtly commenting on Garak’s health, and even then, his mind didn't immediately draw the proper conclusion. At first, he simply thought that Garak had somehow gained weight, despite Cardassia's food shortage and strict rationing; the outfit he wore was one he'd had back on DS9, a shirt and trouser combination in gold and purple, but the tunic had been let out in the sides with panels of dark fabric. If Julian hadn't had an eye for detail and an excellent memory, he probably wouldn't have noticed the change at all, and he was wondering about the reason for it when Garak began walking towards him and his shape became more distinct. His belly was round in a familiar spherical way, one that Julian hadn't thought possible for male Cardassians, but even if the shape hadn't given it away, the way Garak walked towards him—slowly, unsteadily, with one hand resting on the high curve of his stomach—definitely did.

Julian had delivered more children than he could recall, in all manner of all species—babies, seedlings, hatchlings, and more— and so he had no explanation for the way the words burst out of him, loud enough to echo off the walls of that very respectable restaurant.

"You're _pregnant_?"

***

Garak took it in stride, which made perfect sense; if his size was any indication, he must've known what was happening for the better part of three months and then simply neglected to mention it, so he'd undoubtedly been expecting this reaction. No, he’d probably been _anticipating_ it—Garak did like his surprises, after all.

"Very astute observation, Doctor. May we sit?"

Julian sat, and then immediately regretted it when Garak's attempt to do the same seemed like more of a process. Julian didn't know if Garak would've appreciated the help even if he'd offered it, but he still felt guilty for not thinking of it, and for the fact that his mind was whirring with questions. Aside from the fact that Julian hadn't known it was possible, try as he might he couldn't come up with a single conversation they'd had that had implied Garak was seeing anyone, certainly not to the extent of deciding to start a family. The idea that this was unplanned seemed equally unlikely, however; four months ago, Garak had been too busy to sleep and much too busy to chase one night stands, and Julian didn't like the explanation his mind was coming up with once those options were ruled out.

He didn't ask, however. Even if he had to bite his tongue in more than a metaphorical way, Julian managed not to ask.

"I suppose congratulations are in order?" was what came out instead, a conclusion he drew from the careful way Garak moved and the fact that he'd carried the child this long. If Garak hadn't wanted to keep it, he certainly had options. "I had no idea you wanted children."

"Cardassians adore children and frequently have many of them, Doctor," Garak said. It wasn't a real answer, but he did look pleased that Julian had congratulated him. "Of course, the circumstances are usually better."

If that wasn't an opening, Julian didn't know what was.

"What sort of circumstances?" Julian asked. "I have to admit, I didn't even know male Cardassians could get pregnant."

"Usually, we can't," Garak said, though he didn't expand on that either. "But sometimes circumstances happen to make it...possible."

"I see." 

Julian pondered that while an attendant came to ask for their drink orders and offer them a menu, though Julian was so distracted that it took him several seconds to realize it was written in indecipherable Cardăsda. He didn't know if he was particularly hungry, in any case; in fact, he felt almost nauseous, and in a way that couldn't be explained by the odor of Garak's customary _rokassa_ juice. Perhaps it was the heat.

It wasn't until Garak had placed their orders and Julian had downed half his glass of tea that he found the courage to ask the question he was most curious about. 

"Is the baby...fully-Cardassian?" Julian asked, and then he hurriedly explained when Garak only looked at him. "From a medical standpoint. I may not be your doctor any longer, but if you need any resources on mixed-species children—I mean, if there's anything I can do—"

"I don't know how it could be," Garak interrupted. "Considering the other parent was not Cardassian." 

Garak took a sip of his drink, and his expression was composed, unreadable. He looked like the calmest expectant parent Julian had ever seen, but Julian knew him better than that, and he remembered what Garak had said all those years ago about that odious beverage _soothing his nerves_. If everything was really as simple as it seemed, Julian suspected Garak would’ve already steered the conversation to politics or literature or even Julian himself—anything but a private family matter.

"Is the other parent in the picture?" Julian asked, in a tone he was careful to keep neutral. He wasn't surprised when Garak shook his head.

"Male Scrikzi die after mating, if you recall," Garak said, and though he said it casually, Julian still startled; he hadn't heard of anyone even _meeting_ a Scrikzi in the last fifty years, never mind this. "I can only hope that this child's Cardassian half serves it better."

"I don't see how it couldn't," Julian said, "since it's coming from you."

Garak smiled.

"Your penchant for flattery never fails to amuse, Doctor," Garak said, as he curled his hands around his cup and regarded Julian with an expression as warm as his drink. "Though I wish you'd be a little more realistic."

"I'm being sincere."

"Of course," Garak said indulgently. "Just like I trust you were sincere when you offered 'anything you could do.'" Garak looked down at his cup. "Or, rather, I hope that you were. I'm afraid I might need a doctor, Doctor. Preferably one who is used to...unusual cases."

"Your appointment didn't go well, I take it?"

"No." Garak sighed, sounding annoyed rather than frightened, like his body was merely being inconvenient at the moment. "Male Cardassians can carry children, Doctor. Both the parent and child surviving the experience, however..."

He trailed off, but it was fine that he didn’t go into details; Julian didn’t need to hear all the possible ways this could go wrong, not when he knew them already. Even without taking Scrikzi biology into account, there were too many unknowns, and in Garak’s situation, Julian would’ve wanted a friend nearby too. That said friend was also one of Starfleet’s best doctors was, of course, a bonus.

"If you have a place for me to stay, I can take leave starting tomorrow," Julian said, and he pretended not to notice when Garak’s response to his offer was quickly masked relief. "Besides, I’ve been meaning to visit Cardassia, and I’m not sure a week is nearly long enough for all I’ve planned." He made a show of looking around the almost-deserted restaurant before speaking in a confidential tone. "DS9 has been a little quiet for my tastes, recently—I’m sure I could find something to do with my time here."

"Cardassia would be fortunate to have you," Garak said with feeling, just as their meals arrived. 

The timing was perfect, and Julian expected that to be the end of the subject. So it surprised him when Garak didn’t immediately take the opportunity to comment on the food, instead fixing Julian with an even—and grateful—stare until he managed to catch his eyes.

"Thank you, Doctor. Truly."

"You’re welcome, Garak," Julian said, and he told himself it wasn’t embarrassment at all that made him look away first.

***

Even though Julian hadn't planned to spend more than a week on Cardassia when he'd first decided to join Starfleet’s delegation, adjusting the length of his stay was much easier than he expected. While he didn’t want to give Starfleet too many details due to the fact that Garak was now technically a patient and thus entitled to his privacy, saying that one of the Ministers of Cardassia was having a medical emergency was apparently grounds enough for him to be granted his requested six months leave without delay. After that, it was simply a matter of making sure his nurses, fellow doctors, and officers at DS9 would manage in his sudden absence, and that was barely an issue at all; they were all extremely capable professionals, and Julian felt confident in choosing one of the Bajoran doctors, Asi Towe, to act as Chief Medical Officer in his stead. Colonel Kira, too, was very understanding; of all the people Julian spoke to, she seemed the least surprised by his decision to stay on Cardassia Prime for the time being, and though it made Julian curious, he didn’t ask for an explanation. For one, he suspected he wouldn’t like her answer, and for another...strange as it was, he was mostly just relieved to find that his presence on DS9 was more superfluous than he’d first assumed. 

In the end and to his surprise, the person who seemed to spend the most time trying to convince him to change his mind was _Garak_.

"You really don't have to go to all this trouble, Doctor," Garak said, after Julian had been on-planet for five days and had insisted on ultrasounds and standard check-ups twice a week. "I can manage on my own."

"If there's something you need to tend to on Deep Space Nine, I completely understand," he said the following week, when Julian had to take a hail concerning a botched surgery after a plasma explosion. "I'm sure they'd appreciate your presence."

"I don't want to interfere with your personal life, Doctor," was the third week's line. "If you have a young lady waiting for you—"

" _Garak_ ," Julian finally said, unable to contain his exasperation. He knew what this was: doubt and the aching need for reassurance were common pregnancy symptoms for Cardassians, he'd found out, much to the misery of everyone who had to deal with them in the second quarter. Unfortunately, they seemed to be hitting Garak especially hard for reasons that seemed random, but could've easily been a result of carrying a half-Scrikzi child. "If I had a girlfriend on DS9, I certainly would've mentioned her by now." Julian deliberately didn't think of Ezri and where she was now. It already seemed so long ago since they’d parted ways, though in truth it had barely been five months.

Fortunately, his answer seemed to calm Garak down somewhat, at least long enough for Julian to resume his exam. Unfortunately, that calm didn't last; in the end, all it meant was that Garak's questions changed.

"Do you want children, Doctor?" he asked, seemingly out of nowhere while Julian was taking his pulse a second time. It was fast and thready, much faster than it had been two days ago; that, too, was an expected Cardassian pregnancy symptom according to the medical texts Julian had been able to acquire, but he didn't think this was normal.

"I haven't thought about it," Julian said, which was surely the most transparent lie he'd ever told. Honestly, he'd thought about it every time he looked in the mirror. He'd thought about it, and he'd wondered if any child he fathered might've been a disappoint to him just like he'd been to his parents years ago. "Garak, your heart rate is climbing. Are you feeling any shortness of breath? Any chest pain? Any dizziness?"

"I think you'd make a fine father," Garak said. "And no, Doctor, I feel quite well."

The response would've been more convincing if Garak hadn't turned ashy-pale the moment he finished speaking. Julian quickly retrieved a pan and a blanket, uncertain which one he'd need. When Garak closed his eyes with a pained sound, Julian chose the blanket, tucking it around Garak's torso and underneath his shoulders while he called for the computer to dim the lights.

"Is it behind your eyes," Julian asked, as gently as he could, "or is it more at the base of your skull?"

"Neither, Doctor," Garak said. "It's everywhere." He sounded irritated and extremely frustrated, but for a second at least, he sounded much more like himself. "It would be very handy to have a pain-lessening implant, right at this moment. Unfortunately, no one has ever developed such a thing."

"Except the Obsidian Order, you mean."

Garak didn’t even open his eyes at the leading question, which was truly unusual. He normally enjoyed watching his lies and tales land, just like he enjoyed watching Julian’s attempts to counter them.

"Mere rumors, Doctor. You shouldn't pay them any attention."

"I'll keep that in mind." Julian glanced at the biomonitor above Garak’s head. His heart rate was still higher than Julian would like, but it had stabilized, and none of his other vitals looked abnormal; Julian hated that he didn’t know what that meant. "Have you been eating regularly?"

"Not as much as I would like, unfortunately," said Garak, still without opening his eyes. "Which is a shame. My favorite restaurant re-opened—it’s remarkable how little damage they had to repair, considering the state of the buildings around them."

"You and I should go there after this, then." The offer was met with silence enough to make Julian uncomfortable. "We are still friends, after all. And I haven’t had lunch yet. Though, if you have other plans—"

"Not at all, Doctor. I’d intended to have a meeting with Minister Gemol, but I’m sure he won’t mind rescheduling. I’d hate to deprive you of this opportunity to eat at one of the finest restaurants that still remains on Cardassia, though I admit I may not be the best company."

"I'm sure we'll manage, Garak," Julian said with what he hoped was a comforting pat to Garak’s shoulder. 'Skin sensitivity' was another unfortunate side effect Julian had been expecting to see, but if Garak’s sigh of relief and slight push into the pressure was any indication, it wasn’t yet one he was afflicted with. Julian kept his hand there for a long minute, until—remarkably enough—Garak’s pulse started to slow again.

Julian made to pull away, but he’d barely twitched when Garak’s hand came up to hold his in place. The touch was cool but steady, and Julian's fingers twitched with an aborted urge to hold his hand like he'd done just the once, years ago.

"Please, Doctor, keep it there." Garak opened his eyes to slits, barely wide enough that Julian could pick out the hint of blue in the dim light. "It seems to be helping."

"I don’t know how that’s possible," Julian said, but he’d admittedly heard of stranger things. He stayed put until Garak’s grip on his hand loosened, and then he stayed a few minutes longer while he watched Garak’s vitals drop to normal levels. It was impossible but true nonetheless, and Julian resumed Garak’s exam, all the while wondering what he was missing.

*** 

When Garak was in the first week of his sixth month, two things happened: they learned that his child was showing signs of being female, and Julian met Minister Gemol. Julian wished he could say these were both pleasant events, but that would've been an embarrassingly transparent lie; as much as the news of the baby's sex pleased Garak and Julian both (the odds of survival given the child's heritage had just increased, after all), words could not fully describe how much Julian disliked Gemol. Unfortunately, the two things were also forever linked in his mind, thanks to Gemol accompanying Garak to that day's appointment, at Garak's request. Though it took a minute to get the full story out of them both, it seemed they'd been keeping each other company for the past few weeks, having lunch when their schedules allowed and Julian's did not, and Gemol had been the first name Garak thought to call when he'd had trouble standing that morning, courtesy of an overactive fetus.

Objectively, there was nothing wrong with Gemol. He was younger than Garak by a few years, but he was very Cardassian in appearance, and stiff and unyielding and exacting in personality. He had none of Garak's flare for conversation and he seemed joyless to Julian, like he carried every harsh reality around every minute of the day; Julian didn't really understand the appeal, though he admitted that— _if_ he was being objective—Gemol was handsome enough, provided one's tastes ran to tall, lean men. Garak had never seemed to have that preference in the past, but then, Julian supposed it might've been something specific to Minister Gemol.

It wasn't a thought Julian liked and it wasn't a subject he wanted to bring up, but when Garak showed up to his next appointment a few days later—thankfully alone this time—he couldn't seem to stop himself. Once Garak was settled on the biobed and they'd gone through the usual pleasantries, the words simply spilled out.

"Minister Gemol seems...nice," Julian offered as he set up the scanner. It always took a few tries to see past the thick, protective shell around the fetus that was a quirk of Cardassian biology, but after these past weeks, Julian was getting the hang of the setting adjustments; today, it only took him two tries.

"Gemol isn't nice at all," Garak answered. His voice said he meant it as a compliment. "Though I do enjoy arguing with him, now and then."

Julian's hand stuttered over Garak's biomonitor. It was brief but very obvious to anyone who was watching; fortunately, Garak's eyes were already closed, and so Julian was spared his comment.

"I'm surprised you find much to argue about. I would think another Cardassian would be more likely to agree with your opinions on literature."

"Sadly, Gemol is not a fan of any great works of fiction," Garak said with a disappointed sigh. He breathed deeply enough that his abdomen moved with the motion, and at twenty-two weeks, it was of such a size that the motion caused his shirt hem to rise up a few inches above rounded, gray skin. Despite Garak's best efforts, his attempts to turn his regular clothing into maternity wear hadn't managed to keep up with his rapidly expanding waistline. "But Cardassians can start a debate about anything, Doctor, surely you realize that."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with a good debate between friends." That was what Julian frequently had with Garak himself, after all, though he'd assumed doing so meant he was a part of a limited crowd. Finding that assumption false stung a little, but he told himself not to let it bother him; there was no reason to resent Garak making other friends, especially when Julian himself wasn't always available in Garak's free hours.

"I would say 'friend' is overstating the case," Garak said, as though he had plucked Julian's thoughts from the air while slowly sitting up, "but he may be useful in the coming months."

There was something sly and mischievous in Garak's voice, and it took Julian a moment to figure out what he meant. Once he did, he looked hurriedly down at the datapadd in his hands. He immediately felt foolish; Garak's blood pressure was a little high, but not dangerously so, and it certainly wasn't something that demanded his full attention.

"Ah." The word came out as a croak, and Julian swallowed, hoping to cure a suddenly dry mouth. "Are you experiencing an increased libido, then? That's a normal, healthy side effect of pregnancy in many species."

"I'm aware, as you've mentioned it before," Garak said. He was watching Julian closely. "Are you feeling all right, Doctor?"

"Just fine." Julian summoned up a smile. "Which is exactly what I'd say for you and your baby. You're both doing much better than I'd hoped, Garak. I'd recommend light exercise if you feel up to it, and you may even be able to convince Minister Khall to return some of your duties to you, at least for the time being."

"Oh, unlikely. That woman will have revived this entire planet in the next five years, mark my words." 

Garak pushed himself carefully to his feet, and Julian steadied him with a hand on his elbow. It felt normal, natural, and as he watched the padd's screen, Garak's blood pressure dropped to a more normal range; Julian still hadn't figured out what was causing _that_ , but at the moment he was willing to accept it for the random, but lucky, occurrence it was.

"Then I have a book for you, if you're interested."

"I'm always interested, my dear doctor, though I hope this week's selection is at least less trite than the last."

"You're the first person I've ever heard call _Crime and Punishment_ 'trite'," Julian said with a short laugh, "but I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you." Garak patted his hand, and Julian realized he was still holding onto his arm. He released him immediately, too quickly to be subtle. "I'm sure it will be very stimulating." Something about Garak's tone was off as he said it, but Julian's attempt to interpret it was lost as they continued talking about literature and Julian's Federation-biased tastes. It was only a blip, besides—it may have simply been a fluke.

Just as Garak was about to leave, however, Julian stopped him, unable to resist addressing something that had been bothering him for days.

"One more thing before you leave, Garak," Julian said. "I want you to know that you can call me at any time, day or night, if you're having troubles. There's no reason to wait for Minister Gemol to cross town when I'm only a few streets away. If you need my help, with anything, just...let me know." He gave Garak his most sincere smile. "I'm your friend as well as your doctor, after all."

"Thank you, Doctor," Garak said. His expression was thoughtful. "That is most kind."

***

Though Julian had made the offer sincerely, he really hadn't expected Garak to take him up on it. So naturally he was surprised when, several weeks later, he came home from an exhausting day of minor, medical catastrophes to a recorded video message asking him to stop by Garak's place if he was able. Garak didn't give him many details, and he was careful to stress the non-urgency of the situation, as though he wanted Julian to say 'no' despite the fact that Garak had bothered to call late at night after they'd seen each other no more than ten hours ago. Julian didn't consider refusing for more than a second, and even then it was mostly due to the idle thought that Garak _might_ have been being truthful when he said it wasn't urgent; in the end, though, Julian decided not to risk it, and he abandoned thoughts of sleep in favor of grabbing his personal medkit and heading in the direction of Garak's home.

Julian hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said they lived close together; thanks to the Cardassians prioritizing repairs in the Torr Sector, the visitor quarters were close to many of the still-standing residential buildings, including the small house that Garak currently lived in. It took approximately ten minutes to walk there, but Julian made it in eight, simply because worry sped his steps. There were many things that could happen in ten hours, many things that could go wrong, and Julian was thinking of all of them while he knocked on Garak’s door. There was no immediate answer, and Julian was preparing to attempt an override of the locks when the door silently opened for him. 

He walked inside and turned right, but he stopped short at the sight of Garak waiting for him calmly on the couch.

"Garak?" Julian set his medkit down near the door of the living area and took a careful step closer; Garak looked tired but otherwise fine, with every hair in place and his robe loosely tied over his large midriff. "Is everything all right?"

Garak looked up at him and then quickly away. His hands began to twist together, though the nervous motion was barely visible in the shadows of his lap. 

"You asked me to call you if I needed anything," he reminded. "Though I do apologize for the hour. I may have overstretched the limits of that offer."

"I’ll be the judge of that," Julian said. "Did you need my help?"

" _Need_ may be an exaggeration, but _want_? Certainly." Garak paused long enough that Julian thought he was finished, but then he continued speaking after a visible struggle. "Have sex with me."

Julian’s hearing was better than perfect, but this time he couldn’t believe he’d heard correctly. 

"I’m sorry?" His mind tumbled over the possibilities, tangling thoughts too rapid to comprehend. The obvious conclusion was that he _couldn’t_ have heard correctly. Garak had never wanted…had never seemed interested—

"It's driving me mad. I can't sleep, and nothing I do—" Garak cut himself off, looking pained. "So please, Doctor..."

Julian hadn’t seen Garak desperate in years, and back then, Garak had hated that Julian even wanted to help. It was strange for him to be asking for Julian’s help now—strange, but not at all a deterrent. 

"Of course," Julian said. Though it was physically impossible, he felt like his heart might beat out of his chest, and he crossed the room quickly, barely aware that he was moving even when he was close enough for his hands to cup Garak's face. "Of course."

Julian bent to kiss him without hesitation, and Garak pushed up to meet him with a low sound. Their first kiss was more gentle than it had any right to be, two mouths softly seeking each other, and Julian couldn’t help but think it was oddly…perfect, as first kisses went.

 _Stop that,_ Julian told himself sternly before he was lost to infatuation and fantasy. _This is a favor for a friend, nothing more._

Still, there was nothing that said Julian couldn’t enjoy it while the opportunity presented itself. Judging by Garak’s trembling grip on his shoulders, it was clear that he needed a lot more than kissing, even though he too seemed loathe to stop and discuss the details. Julian didn’t push him either way, and it was only when their kisses lost focus and turned sloppy and misaligned that Julian pulled back. 

Although he felt shaky inside, he was proud to note that his voice came out remarkably steady.

"What do you want?"

"Your hand," Garak said immediately. He turned his head enough to press a kiss to Julian’s palm, a kiss with an edge of teeth at the base of his thumb. It made Julian’s fingertips tingle. "You have such lovely hands, Doctor." 

He sounded distracted but also quite insistent, so Julian took his word for it. He sat down next to him on the couch and slide one hand along the side of Garak’s neck and the other down his torso and over the swollen sphere of his stomach. The ties of Garak’s pyjama bottoms were loosened with just a pluck of his fingers, and it took only a moment more to push his hand under the waistband and brush bare skin. He unsurprisingly found Garak highly aroused, with the folds of his sex already out, expanded fully into shape but still wet and soft and malleable under Julian's fingers. Julian cupped the textured shaft with care before squeezing until Garak shuddered against him, and Julian wasn’t sure if it was pain or pleasure or some combination of the two. In any case, Garak didn't tell him to stop, not even when Julian dipped the tip of his finger into the shallow hole below the shaft. It was barely wide enough to fit, and though Julian knew that there must be nerve endings there, he still wasn't prepared for the way Garak moaned at that first push.

"Tell me if this is too much," Julian said, though it was more for his peace of mind that anything else. Garak had started rocking against his hand in an eager rhythm, and every time he moved forward, the heel of Julian's hand pressed his shaft into the round swell of his abdomen.

" _Far_ from too much, Doctor," Garak said thickly, and he pulled Julian closer with surprising strength. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd taken Cardassian anatomy lessons." 

He dug his fingers into Julian's back just above his waist as he spoke, and the twinge of pain that followed was deep and welcome and brief, like the start of a massage after a long day. It surprised Julian into letting out a quiet gasp despite his best efforts to appear detached from the whole experience, and he grudgingly admitted that Garak's smug expression was justified. It didn't last long, in any case; only a few seconds passed before it changed into a pinched expression of annoyance. Garak seemed frustrated that his protruding abodmen got in the way of pulling Julian fully against him, and the expression made Julian smile when he leaned close to kiss his throat. He added a hint of teeth just like Garak had done to him, and he was rewarded with Garak growing slippery around and over his fingers, even though it seemed to bring Garak's frustration to a fever pitch.

"Enough," he said. The word was almost a growl as he pushed Julian away. "We'll try this."

Julian wasn't sure what Garak was doing until he stood, then removed his robe and pyjama bottoms before resettling with his back pressed to Julian's front. He tugged Julian's hand back between his legs, but he also ground down with unmistakable intent against Julian's lap.

"This position is better for sex, I believe," Garak said, but the neutral comment was ruined by the way he was shaking. "If you're interested."

Even if Julian had wanted to pretend to be unaffected now, the way his hand immediately fumbled for his own trousers would've made him a liar. If Garak wanted more than just Julian's hand, he wasn't going to complain, and though he tried to keep the goal in mind—this was Garak's request, after all, not Julian's fantasy—he couldn't help his excitement when he felt Garak's sex twitch against his hand and grow wetter with the necessary lubricant. Garak, of course, was no help at all, since all he did in response was tip them both forward until Julian was all but lying across his back while Garak held himself up on his hands and knees. It successfully kept his stomach out of the way, but Julian doubted that was his main goal, judging by the way he continued to push back against him.

"That’s it, Doctor," he said, and the words were heavy with satisfaction already. "A little more."

"You can call me 'Julian,' you know," he pointed out, because it seemed like the appropriate response. Julian wasn't sure if Garak heard him at all, though, and by the time he pulled his wet hand off of Garak’s shaft and moved to press his slick fingers against Garak’s ass, he was feeling too impatient to clarify that he meant in general.

His fingers slid inside Garak with ease, helped along by the way Garak couldn't seem to keep still. It took barely any time at all before Julian was pushing his cock inside Garak from behind, and he kept his hand moving against Garak's sex in time with his gentle thrusts. Garak might've wanted it harder, but Julian didn't want to risk losing control and putting his full weight into his motions, not with Garak holding up most of his weight on his hands. Garak was already trembling, on the verge of orgasm or something else, and Julian ran his free hand over Garak's skin soothingly as he moved. It seemed the opposite of helpful, especially when his palm brushed the curved bulge of Garak's stomach; Garak responded like the touch was electric, crying out and pushing back when he came without warning, and Julian continued moving since Garak hadn't asked him to stop.

 _Skin sensitivity_ , Julian thought, as he dragged his nails across the taut skin and made Garak shudder against and around him. _That must be it._

That didn't explain his own reaction, the way he felt overheated and overjoyed and _far_ from detached. He wanted to hold Garak close and please him, and Julian recognized the urge, recognized the meaning, and then ignored it to focus on Garak instead. Already Garak was getting hard again, and while that was impressive for a man his age, in this case Julian knew it meant that he'd been sexually frustrated for months.

When Garak came a second time, he groaned out " _Julian_ " and Julian was startled into following him, despite his best efforts. As they both collapsed to catch their breath, Julian made sure that he caught himself on his hands. However, Garak just rolled over and pulled him the rest of the way down. The couch wasn't big enough for two fully grown men to lie in their own mess, but neither of them was in any hurry to move. It was several minutes before either had caught their breath enough to speak, and Julian was grateful that it was Garak who spoke first. 

"Thank you, my dear. That was very…helpful." 

The polite phrasing combined with Garak's lascivious expression made Julian laugh, and it helped somewhat to know how Garak wanted him to respond.

"Any time, Garak."

"Tomorrow, then?" Garak asked, light and casual enough that Julian knew it was a sincere question. If he said 'no,' Garak would neither begrudge him his choice nor ask him again, and they'd go on as they had been, as friends and doctor and patient and nothing more.

Actively planning to do this again was a terrible idea, Julian knew that much. A terrible, selfish idea.

"I'll put it in my calendar," Julian said, and this time when he circled his arm around Garak's waist, it was for no reason except to hold him. 

***

They developed a new routine after that. Garak still stopped by Julian’s infirmary twice a week for check-ups, but in-between the medical necessities and his and Garak's own schedules, they met up for their usual lunches and occasionally sex. Julian tried his best not to take any of it for granted, because he knew that the change in their relationship was temporary, something that would disappear once Garak’s child was born and Garak was better able to attend to his own needs. For that matter, Julian himself would be back on DS9 before too long; it was best not to make this more than it was, even though he couldn't quite stop himself from imagining what he wanted it to be. None of Julian's fantasies had ever been particularly realistic, though, and so he shamelessly took every opportunity to enjoy it while it lasted. 

They were curled up in bed together after one such session when Julian brought up the subject of removing the baby once it was close to term. Unfortunately, he had no idea how to predict when that would be; while Cardassians carried their children for ten months on average, he didn’t think Garak’s body would be able to handle that, considering the rate of the baby’s development after just thirty weeks. Julian tried to explain that it might be much sooner than they both thought and they needed to be prepared. Even though Garak's vitals had been impressively, _astonishingly_ good for the past few weeks, the end was still an unknown, and the last thing Julian wanted was to overlook something.

Garak was quiet when he finished, quiet enough that Julian wondered if he’d given into the evening and fallen asleep. When he finally spoke, what he said surprised Julian.

"So, at most, it will be three more months." Garak sighed. "A shame. I will miss you, my dear."

"Miss me?" Julian startled; he’d expected Garak to be worrying about the surgery, not about Julian leaving. "I’ll just be returning to DS9. You’ll know where to find me, and it's not like I won't come back to visit." Julian shifted until Garak could see his smile. " You'll need someone to babysit on occasion, surely, and I am _very_ curious about what sort of trouble your child will get into."

Garak kissed his cheek. He did that with some frequency, when they were lying close like this; Julian thought he might miss that part the most.

"Yes, I know." Garak patted Julian's arm where it was lying across his waist. "Don’t think too much on it, Doctor."

Despite what Garak said, Julian couldn’t stop himself from doing just that, late into the night and well into the early morning. He knew what it sounded like, what Garak had seemed to be saying, but it seemed unlikely...or it did, right up until Julian thought back on their interactions for the last three and a half months. It was possible that Garak had been dropping more hints and implications than Julian had considered, simply because he hadn't wanted to over-think things. That in turn led to another realization dawning just as the morning did, the answer to a question that had bothered Julian for months: Scrikzi were rumored to have minor empathic abilities and some ability to alter reality, such that the myths about them occasionally called them "wish granters." It was possible that Garak's continued good health despite the odds was related to his feelings for the child he carried, and equally possible that the changes seen over the past few months were related to his feelings for _Julian_.

When Garak woke up a few hours later, Julian had a very important question to ask him.

"Garak." He waited until Garak blinked up at him, his sleepy morning smile fading as alertness returned. "Did you want me to stay?"

Garak stretched before answering; it was a deliberate stall, Julian was certain of it, but to Garak's credit, when he finally spoke, he didn't pretend not to know what Julian meant.

"That would be highly impractical for us both." It was the expected answer, but it didn't sound right. In fact, it almost sounded like Garak was trying to convince himself of that more than Julian.

"But do _you_ want me to stay?" Julian repeated. He needed to hear Garak's answer, even if he felt like he already knew what it would be.

Garak was silent for several minutes, and when he finally spoke, it was in the tone of someone admitting a terrible secret.

"As much as I want this child," he said. "Though my answer would’ve been the same on the day you arrived."

Julian's grin was so wide that it almost hurt. Though he knew it was just ridiculous euphoria, he felt lighter than he had in years.

"Garak." He waited until Garak looked at him again. "I feel the same way." Julian leaned forward and kissed him, briefly enough that it was barely a peck. "And between you and I...I've always wanted to be a father."

Garak's expression shifted into something complicated, but his eyes shone with understanding, relief, and love.

"Your secret is safe with me, Doctor." 

When Julian kissed him again, Garak didn't let him go again so easily.


End file.
